My Neighbor is Conservative, Smart, and Athletic

How do I know this? Well, apparently he is on vacation and has decided to let the Wall Street Journal pile up outside his door. There are about six of them right now, one is in orange plastic bag, and I hope that's not because it's the Halloween Issue. The WSJ is better than that.

The weird part is the reason I know he is athletic. Along with the WSJs there is a pair of shoes outside the door. I can understand leaving your newspapers out even though it creates a risk of burglary - maybe you just forgot. But the shoes? How do you forget there are shoes outside your door. Also, what happened to them such they cannot even be in the house while he is on vacation. Maybe he thinks the shoes will dissuade robbers. "Hey, this guy is gone look at those newspapers. Oh wait, there are shoes. No one would just leave some shoes outside the door." Actually, it appears someone would.

I can't really complain though - I've left the phone book outside my door for a week. People probably don't think I'm out of the town. They probably just assume I don't have a spare drawer, and I have a computer, thus eliminating any need for the phone book unless I have a table that is very uneven.