A Trio of Experiences at the Indian Restaurant
I went to my favorite Indian restaurant for the lunch buffet today and had three experiences – one depressing, one awesome, and one amusing, so I thought I would share them with you.
First, let me say I ate three full plates of food so any mistakes are a result of the food coma I am slipping into right now. But before I pass out, on to the experiences.
Depressing: This woman and what I assume was her father are at the buffet table. Her father is not that old, perhaps in his 60s. If you’ve been to a buffet you know the food is generally labeled and this restaurant is no exception. Despite this, and the fact this older guy was wearing what looked like not that thick glasses, his daughter insists on yelling the menu items to him. And boy does she simplify. “That’s peas!” – to a dish filled with maybe 5% peas and a unique and spicy sauce. “That’s spinach!” “That’s eggplant” “Those are fritters!” What? Are fritters a vegetable? I know for a fact that restaurant serves vegetable fritters – but the fritters in themselves are not a vegetable, and there was no what was in that container was fritters. Keep in mind all of this is happening with the menu cards about four inches from his face. His daughter also felt the need to inform him, “That’s rice! You can put things on top of it.” She was only about one step away from yelling, “That’s a plate! If you don’t use it you’ll be dropping the food on the floor!”
Awesome: Same woman, but this time her kid brought his A game. This dude is about five years old and he gets the Mango Milkshake. So far so good. I look over and this kid takes the shake down without ever pulling his lips off the straw. He just little kid chugged a milkshake! I was the only one that noticed, but he saw me and he knew I knew he was awesome. Now, is he going to pay for this later? Of course. No one can eat that much milkshake and get away with it. But it certainly falls into the Anchorman style, “What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing!” category. Way to go, kid. By the way, I think in the future if anyone does anything so outrageous you should be mad, but you just can’t be because it was so crazy, we should say, “He/She ate the whole wheel of cheese there.” This will catch on soon, I’m sure of it.
Amusing: The great thing about this Indian restaurant is there are always only two dudes working the floor. One guy, who has been there since I can remember is awesome. He is nice, fast, and generally a superb waiter. He is always paired with a rotating cast of dimwits. I usually don’t see the same guy more than a few times. One of the dimwits once asked me what kind of shoes I had (they were about 3 year old white Nikes) and then said, “I like your shoes.” I felt like I was in prison. The guy today was just terrible at his job. He seemed really focused on Windexing already clean tables instead of taking orders, filling drinks, or doing anything helpful. When I told him he forgot my Diet Pepsi he whispered “Sorry,” with this look on his face like “I know I’m dumb – just hang with me.” So, I’m pretty sure the restaurant is run by the really good guy and about 40 of his stupid extended family members.
So, that was too long, and I need to sleep.
As always send any comments to global.esoterica@hotmail.com
First, let me say I ate three full plates of food so any mistakes are a result of the food coma I am slipping into right now. But before I pass out, on to the experiences.
Depressing: This woman and what I assume was her father are at the buffet table. Her father is not that old, perhaps in his 60s. If you’ve been to a buffet you know the food is generally labeled and this restaurant is no exception. Despite this, and the fact this older guy was wearing what looked like not that thick glasses, his daughter insists on yelling the menu items to him. And boy does she simplify. “That’s peas!” – to a dish filled with maybe 5% peas and a unique and spicy sauce. “That’s spinach!” “That’s eggplant” “Those are fritters!” What? Are fritters a vegetable? I know for a fact that restaurant serves vegetable fritters – but the fritters in themselves are not a vegetable, and there was no what was in that container was fritters. Keep in mind all of this is happening with the menu cards about four inches from his face. His daughter also felt the need to inform him, “That’s rice! You can put things on top of it.” She was only about one step away from yelling, “That’s a plate! If you don’t use it you’ll be dropping the food on the floor!”
Awesome: Same woman, but this time her kid brought his A game. This dude is about five years old and he gets the Mango Milkshake. So far so good. I look over and this kid takes the shake down without ever pulling his lips off the straw. He just little kid chugged a milkshake! I was the only one that noticed, but he saw me and he knew I knew he was awesome. Now, is he going to pay for this later? Of course. No one can eat that much milkshake and get away with it. But it certainly falls into the Anchorman style, “What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing!” category. Way to go, kid. By the way, I think in the future if anyone does anything so outrageous you should be mad, but you just can’t be because it was so crazy, we should say, “He/She ate the whole wheel of cheese there.” This will catch on soon, I’m sure of it.
Amusing: The great thing about this Indian restaurant is there are always only two dudes working the floor. One guy, who has been there since I can remember is awesome. He is nice, fast, and generally a superb waiter. He is always paired with a rotating cast of dimwits. I usually don’t see the same guy more than a few times. One of the dimwits once asked me what kind of shoes I had (they were about 3 year old white Nikes) and then said, “I like your shoes.” I felt like I was in prison. The guy today was just terrible at his job. He seemed really focused on Windexing already clean tables instead of taking orders, filling drinks, or doing anything helpful. When I told him he forgot my Diet Pepsi he whispered “Sorry,” with this look on his face like “I know I’m dumb – just hang with me.” So, I’m pretty sure the restaurant is run by the really good guy and about 40 of his stupid extended family members.
So, that was too long, and I need to sleep.
As always send any comments to global.esoterica@hotmail.com
posted by Rob at 2:05 PM
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